Yesterday, an online site that keeps track of 1978 Novi High School graduates had me classified as dead. Or more diplomatically, one whose name could be found in the “In Memory” column. Prior to that, I had been categorized as “Missing”.
Heaven knows how long I’d been missing. But fortunately, I had only been dead an hour or two before the webmaster brought me back from the dark, scary world beyond after I assured her I was indeed alive and bitching.
I guess it’s par for the course (excuse the cliche). I only attended Novi High School for a year and a quarter. Yep, not a year and a HALF, or two years, or my entire life. A year and a quarter. Who transfers high schools three quarters of the way through their junior year?
Twasn’t my choice. More an economic one. Made by my mom, a divorced, single parent who’d found a great deal on a condo in Novi (Michigan), one so great she couldn’t pass it up on her single-mom salary. And thus we – my mom, two siblings and me – moved from a rental town home in Dearborn (Michigan), where I attended Edsel Ford High School and had lots of friends – at least I’d liked to think – to a three bedroom condominium in Novi. (It’s tough to make friends three-quarters of the way through your junior year.)
Yep, I’m still scarred.
And now? They, the collectors of information on the class of 1978, thought I was dead. Talk about rubbing salt in the wound, excuse the cliche.
Let me prove the ways in which I’m not.
1. I’m writing this blog post.
2. The dryer buzzer just went off.
3. Excuse me while this very alive person moseys over to the laundry room to fold laundry.
4. I just finished folding the laundry. Therefore I’m not dead.
5. I’m hungry and I know it.
6. I might eat more chocolate.
7. No, I WILL eat more chocolate.
8. I’m almost done reading the second Hunger Games book, Catching Fire.
9. Dead people don’t read.
10. I recorded four; no, five; no, four, House Hunter episodes I may or may not watch later tonight. Because I will be alive.
11. I’m on Facebook.
I think that pretty much proves my body and soul haven’t left this sweet, sweet earth.
Have you ever been misclassified as dead? Huh? Can’t wait to see what you have to share.